Only When I Lose Myself

Only When I Lose Myself
Song	Only When I Lose Myself
By	Depeche Mode
Songwriter	Martin L. Gore
Produced by	Depeche Mode Tim Simenon
Recorded at	Abbey Road Eastcote
Length (mm:ss)	4:41 (album version) 4:34 (single version) 3:52 (radio edit)
Tempo	87 BPM
Time signature	4 4
Key	A♭ Minor
Programmed by	Stephen Hilton
Engineered by	Robin Hancock Philip Bagenal Tim Weidner
Engineering assistance	Paul Hicks Seymour Milton
Drums	Christian Eigner
Art direction	Mat Cook
Photography	Rick Guest
Sleeve design	Intro
Recorded	1997–1998
Originally released	7 September 1998
Live performances as Depeche Mode	72 times *
Total live performances	80 times *

"Only When I Lose Myself" is a song from the 1998 compilation album The Singles 86>98 by Depeche Mode. It was released as a single on 7 September 1998.

Notes

Martin Gore told Associated Press:

"'Only When I Lose Myself' is a bit more soulful, and it's quite slow for us. Kind of like a ballad, but it's a bit of a rockin' ballad. It's about relationships, one of my favorite topics. I've always found love quite obsessional. People talk about co-dependency; to me I've always found there's something co-dependent about being in love — that's what love is all about."

Dave Gahan told Gear Magazine in 1998:

"You feel happy when you're living your life through something else or somebody else, and that can be a painful thing when you become aware that you've lost yourself within that. Being aware, though, is learning to deal with things and getting on with your life. That's why I'm unhappy. Until I find myself and I'm happy with myself, how can I possibly find happiness in anything else. For me, it felt really good, it's kind of where I'm at in my life as well."

Depeche Mode said in the Singles 86>98 EPK:

Martin Gore: "It's a ballad that's quite slow for us to put out as a single, generally our faster stuff does a bit better, always tends to, anyway. But I think it's got a really good atmosphere, something quite obsessional about it."

Dave Gahan: "I think it's a continuation of what we did with Ultra, but we got a lot more soulful. During the making of Ultra, I've become a lot more confident about my singing. I felt like I was doing something that was from me and not for everybody else. I challenge myself to, like, I wanna get better at this. I wanna feel myself improving at something, and for a long time now I felt like I wasn't improving. I lost my way a little bit there, and fortunately I am very grateful for the opportunity to make to Ultra. I had the chance, musically, to feel like I'm actually producing something that really adds to it, [and] is really part of the sound of Depeche Mode. I think 'Only When I Lose Myself' is like I went to a place in the song that felt good inside. I have to think about the words that Martin has written but how I see them, how I feel about them. I think we all influence each other like that. Even though we don't know directly that we're doing it, I think that we bounce off each other, and I think that's what makes Depeche Mode still work."

Gahan told The Baltimore Sun:

"Although it's very soulful, I think it's got an intense feel about it. There's something about the song that I think makes you want to drive harder. It pumps along quite well. We were just recording a few songs, and... we had the time and the space to explore some other areas. We had the time to actually relax with this one, and it went in quite a few different directions before we landed, really."

Gore in BONG magazine issue no. 37, 1998:

"I see this song as a soul song. I think that Depeche Mode does soul on the right side of the soul line again."

Lyrics

Only When I Lose Myself

It's only when I lose myself in someone else

That I find myself

I find myself

Something beautiful is happening inside for me

Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery

I feel hypnotised

I feel paralysed

I have found heaven

There's a thousand reasons

Why I shouldn't spend my time with you

For every reason not to be here

I can think of two

To keep me hanging on

Feeling nothing's wrong

Inside your heaven

It's only when I lose myself in someone else

That I find myself

I find myself

I can feel the emptiness inside me

Fade and disappear

There's a feeling of contentment

Now that you are here

I feel satisfied

I belong inside

Your velvet heaven

Did I need to sell my soul for pleasure like this

Did I have to lose control to treasure your kiss

Did I need to place my heart in the palm of your hand

Before I could even start to understand

It's only when I lose myself in someone else

That I find myself

I find myself

Songwriter: Martin L. Gore
Publishing Information: ©1998 Grabbing Hands Music Overseas/EMI Music Publishing Ltd. All rights reserved.

Live performances

Main article: Available recordings of "Only When I Lose Myself"

Main article: List of dates where "Only When I Lose Myself" was played

Depeche Mode songs released as singles 1981-1985: Dreaming Of Me • New Life • Just Can't Get Enough • See You • The Meaning Of Love • Leave In Silence • Get The Balance Right • Everything Counts • Love In Itself • People Are People • Master And Servant • Blasphemous Rumours / Somebody • Shake The Disease • It's Called A Heart 1986-1989: Stripped • But Not Tonight • A Question Of Lust • A Question Of Time • Strangelove • Never Let Me Down Again • Behind The Wheel • Little 15 • Personal Jesus 1990-1998: Enjoy The Silence • Policy Of Truth • World In My Eyes • I Feel You • Walking In My Shoes • Condemnation • In Your Room • Barrel Of A Gun • It's No Good • Home • Useless • Only When I Lose Myself 2001-2009: Dream On • I Feel Loved • Freelove • Goodnight Lovers • Precious • A Pain That I'm Used To • Suffer Well • John The Revelator / Lilian • Martyr • Wrong • Peace • Fragile Tension / Hole To Feed 2013-2017: Heaven • Soothe My Soul • Should Be Higher • Where's The Revolution • Going Backwards • Cover Me 2023: Ghosts Again Recoil songs released as singles 1992-1998: Faith Healer • Drifting • Stalker / Missing Piece 2000-2008: Strange Hours • Jezebel • Prey • Allelujah Dave Gahan songs released as singles 2003-2008: Dirty Sticky Floors • I Need You • Bottle Living / Hold On • A Little Piece • Kingdom • Saw Something / Deeper And Deeper 2012-2015: Longest Day • Take Me Back Home • All Of This And Nothing • Shine Martin Gore solo songs released as singles 1989-2003: Compulsion • Stardust • Loverman 2012-2015: Spock • Single Blip • Aftermaths • Europa Hymn • "Pinking" (Christoffer Berg Remix) Official releases Studio albums • Live albums • Compilation albums • Video albums • Singles