Only When I Lose Myself

Only When I Lose Myself
Song Artist Depeche Mode Album The Singles 86>98 Songwriter Martin L. Gore Produced by Depeche Mode Tim Simenon Recorded at Eastcote Studios Abbey Road Studios Label Mute Records Length (mm:ss) 4:41 (album version) 4:34 (single version) 3:52 (radio edit) Tempo 87 BPM Time signature 4/4 Key A♭ Minor Programming Stephen Hilton Engineering Robin Hancock Philip Bagenal Tim Weidner Engineering assistance Paul Hicks Seymour Milton Mixed at Abbey Road Studios Art direction Mat Cook Designed at Intro (11) Photography Rick Guest Distributed by Vital Published by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. Grabbing Hands Music Overseas Ltd. Grabbing Hands Music Ltd. Pressed by Nimbus – D0683 Recorded 1997-1998 Originally released September 7, 1998 Played live 72 times * Total live plays 80 times *

Notes

Martin Gore told Associated Press:

"'Only When I Lose Myself' is a bit more soulful, and it's quite slow for us. Kind of like a ballad, but it's a bit of a rockin' ballad. It's about relationships, one of my favorite topics. I've always found love quite obsessional. People talk about co-dependency; to me I've always found there's something co-dependent about being in love - that's what love is all about."

Depeche Mode said in the Singles 86-98 EPK:

Martin: "It's a ballad that's quite slow for us to put out as a single, generally our faster stuff does a bit better, always tends to, anyway. But I think it's got a really good atmosphere, something quite obsessional about it."

Dave: "I think it's a continuation of what we did with 'Ultra', but we got a lot more soulful. During the making of 'Ultra', I've become a lot more confident about my singing. I felt like I was doing something that was from me and not for everybody else. I challenge myself to, like, I wanna get better at this. I wanna feel myself improving at something, and for a long time now I felt like I wasn't improving. I lost my way a little bit there, and fortunately I am very grateful for the opportunity to make to 'Ultra'. I had the chance, musically, to feel like I'm actually producing something that really adds to it, [and] is really part of the sound of Depeche Mode. I think 'Only When I Lose Myself' is like I went to a place in the song that felt good inside. I have to think about the words that Martin has written but how I see them, how I feel about them. I think we all influence each other like that. Even though we don't know directly that we're doing it, I think that we bounce off each other, and I think that's what makes Depeche Mode still work."

Dave Gahan told The Baltimore Sun:

"Although it's very soulful, I think it's got an intense feel about it. There's something about the song that I think makes you want to drive harder. It pumps along quite well. We were just recording a few songs, and... we had the time and the space to explore some other areas. We had the time to actually relax with this one, and it went in quite a few different directions before we landed, really."

Martin Gore in Bong issue no. 37, 1998:

"I see this song as a soul song. I think that Depeche Mode does soul on the right side of the soul line again."

Lyrics

Only When I Lose Myself

It's only when I lose myself in someone else

That I find myself

I find myself

Something beautiful is happening inside for me

Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery

I feel hypnotised

I feel paralysed

I have found heaven

There's a thousand reasons

Why I shouldn't spend my time with you

For every reason not to be here

I can think of two

To keep me hanging on

Feeling nothing's wrong

Inside your heaven

It's only when I lose myself in someone else

That I find myself

I find myself

I can feel the emptiness inside me

Fade and disappear

There's a feeling of contentment

Now that you are here

I feel satisfied

I belong inside

Your velvet heaven

Did I need to sell my soul for pleasure like this

Did I have to lose control to treasure your kiss

Did I need to place my heart in the palm of your hand

Before I could even start to understand

It's only when I lose myself in someone else

That I find myself

I find myself

Songwriter: Martin L. Gore
Publishing Information: ©1998 Grabbing Hands Music Overseas/EMI Music Publishing Ltd. All rights reserved.

Dates with available recordings of Only When I Lose Myself

There are currently 100 recordings of Only When I Lose Myself available.

• 1998-09-02 Song Festival Grounds, Tartu, Estonia/Source 1
• 1998-09-02 Song Festival Grounds, Tartu, Estonia/Source 2
• 1998-09-03 Jurmala Tennis Hall, Riga, Latvia/Source 1
• 1998-09-03 Jurmala Tennis Hall, Riga, Latvia/Source 2
• 1998-09-05 Olympiski, Moscow, Russia/Source 1
• 1998-09-07 SKK Indoor Arena, St. Petersburg, Russia/Source 1
• 1998-09-07 SKK Indoor Arena, St. Petersburg, Russia/Source 2
• 1998-09-07 SKK Indoor Arena, St. Petersburg, Russia/Source 3
• 1998-09-09 Hartwall Arena, Helsinki, Finland/Source 1
• 1998-09-09 Hartwall Arena, Helsinki, Finland/Source 2
• 1998-09-11 Valby Multi Hall, Copenhagen, Denmark/Source 1
• 1998-09-12 Scandinavium, Gothenburg, Sweden/Source 1
• 1998-09-12 Scandinavium, Gothenburg, Sweden/Source 2
• 1998-09-13 Globe, Stockholm, Sweden/Source 1
• 1998-09-15 Sports Hall, Prague, Czech Republic/Source 1
• 1998-09-15 Sports Hall, Prague, Czech Republic/Source 2
• 1998-09-16 Stadthalle, Vienna, Austria/Source 1
• 1998-09-16 Stadthalle, Vienna, Austria/Source 2
• 1998-09-18 Waldbühne, Berlin, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-09-18 Waldbühne, Berlin, Germany/Source 2
• 1998-09-18 Waldbühne, Berlin, Germany/Source 3
• 1998-09-19 Waldbühne, Berlin, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-09-19 Waldbühne, Berlin, Germany/Source 2
• 1998-09-20 Messehalle, Erfurt, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-09-22 Forest National Stadium, Brussels, Belgium/Source 1
• 1998-09-23 Schleyerhalle, Stuttgart, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-09-23 Schleyerhalle, Stuttgart, Germany/Source 2
• 1998-09-25 Hallenstadion, Zürich, Switzerland/Source 1
• 1998-09-26 Palasport, Bologna, Italy/Source 1
• 1998-09-26 Palasport, Bologna, Italy/Source 2
• 1998-09-27 Forum, Milan, Italy/Source 1
• 1998-09-29 Wembley Arena, London, England, UK/Source 1
• 1998-09-30 Wembley Arena, London, England, UK/Source 1
• 1998-10-02 Nynex, Manchester, England, UK/Source 1
• 1998-10-03 NEC, Birmingham, England, UK/Source 1
• 1998-10-05 Cologne Arena, Cologne, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-10-05 Cologne Arena, Cologne, Germany/Source 2
• 1998-10-05 Cologne Arena, Cologne, Germany/Source 3
• 1998-10-06 Cologne Arena, Cologne, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-10-07 Bercy, Paris, France/Source 1
• 1998-10-09 Messehalle, Hannover, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-10-10 Messehalle, Leipzig, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-10-11 Festhalle, Frankfurt, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-10-13 Olympiahalle, Munich, Germany/Source 1
• 1998-10-15 Sports Palace, Zaragoza, Spain/Source 1
• 1998-10-16 Palau Saint Jordi, Barcelona, Spain/Source 1
• 1998-10-17 Velodromo de Anoeta, San Sebastian, Spain/Source 1
• 1998-10-27 Centrum, Worcester, MA, USA/Source 1
• 1998-10-28 Madison Square Garden, New York City, NY, USA/Source 1
• 1998-10-29 Madison Square Garden, New York City, NY, USA/Source 1
• 1998-10-29 Madison Square Garden, New York City, NY, USA/Source 2
• 1998-11-01 Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA, USA/Source 1
• 1998-11-05 SkyDome, Toronto, ON, Canada/Source 1
• 1998-11-05 SkyDome, Toronto, ON, Canada/Source 2
• 1998-11-06 Molson Centre, Montréal, QB, Canada/Source 1
• 1998-11-11 Patriot Center, Washington, DC, USA/Source 1
• 1998-11-13 Miami Arena, Miami, FL, USA/Source 1
• 1998-11-13 Miami Arena, Miami, FL, USA/Source 2
• 1998-11-13 Miami Arena, Miami, FL, USA/Source 3
• 1998-11-14 Orlando Arena, Orlando, FL, USA/Source 1
• 1998-11-15 Ice Palace, Tampa, FL, USA/Source 1
• 1998-11-18 Compaq Center, Houston, TX, USA/Source 1
• 1998-11-19 Reunion Arena, Dallas, TX, USA/Source 1
• 1998-11-24 Rosemont Arena, Chicago, IL, USA/Source 1
• 1998-11-25 Rosemont Arena, Chicago, IL, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-01 Delta Center, Salt Lake City, UT, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-02 Idaho Center, Boise, ID, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-04 PNE Coliseum, Vancouver, BC, Canada/Source 1
• 1998-12-06 Rose Garden, Portland, OR, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-07 Key Arena, Seattle, WA, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-07 Key Arena, Seattle, WA, USA/Source 2
• 1998-12-09 Arco Arena, Sacramento, CA, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-11 Oakland Coliseum, Oakland, CA, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-14 America West Arena, Phoenix, AZ, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-14 America West Arena, Phoenix, AZ, USA/Source 2
• 1998-12-15 Cox Arena, San Diego, CA, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-18 Forum, Inglewood, CA, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-18 Forum, Inglewood, CA, USA/Source 2
• 1998-12-19 Forum, Inglewood, CA, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-20 Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, CA, USA/Source 1
• 1998-12-22 Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, CA, USA/Source 1
• 2003-04-22 Nalen, Stockholm, Sweden/Source 1
• 2003-04-24 E-Werk, Cologne, Germany/Source 1
• 2003-04-26 Docks, Hamburg, Germany/Source 1
• 2003-04-26 Docks, Hamburg, Germany/Source 2
• 2003-04-28 La Cigale, Paris, France/Source 1
• 2003-04-28 La Cigale, Paris, France/Source 2
• 2003-04-30 Alcatraz, Milan, Italy/Source 1
• 2003-05-02 Astoria Theatre, London, England, UK/Source 1
• 2003-05-02 Astoria Theatre, London, England, UK/Source 2
• 2003-05-06 Mayan Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA/Source 1
• 2003-05-06 Mayan Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA/Source 2
• 2003-05-07 Mayan Theatre, Los Angeles, CA, USA/Source 1
• 2003-05-07 Mayan Theatre, Los Angeles, CA, USA/Source 2
• 2013-03-15 SXSW, Brazos Hall, Austin, TX, USA/Source 1
• 2013-03-24 MuseumsQuartier, Vienna, Austria/Source 1
• 2013-03-24 MuseumsQuartier, Vienna, Austria/Source 2
• 2013-05-29 O2 Arena, London, England, UK/Source 1
• 2013 Delta Machine Live (compilation)
• Something Went Wrong (compilation)

Dates where Only When I Lose Myself was played

1998 The Singles Tour

Only When I Lose Myself was played 64 times during this tour.

• 1998-09-02 Song Festival Grounds, Tartu, Estonia
• 1998-09-03 Jurmala Tennis Hall, Riga, Latvia
• 1998-09-05 Olympiski, Moscow, Russia
• 1998-09-07 SKK Indoor Arena, St. Petersburg, Russia
• 1998-09-09 Hartwall Arena, Helsinki, Finland
• 1998-09-11 Valby Multi Hall, Copenhagen, Denmark
• 1998-09-12 Scandinavium, Gothenburg, Sweden
• 1998-09-13 Globe, Stockholm, Sweden
• 1998-09-15 Sports Hall, Prague, Czech Republic
• 1998-09-16 Stadthalle, Vienna, Austria
• 1998-09-18 Waldbühne, Berlin, Germany
• 1998-09-19 Waldbühne, Berlin, Germany
• 1998-09-20 Messehalle, Erfurt, Germany
• 1998-09-22 Forest National Stadium, Brussels, Belgium
• 1998-09-23 Schleyerhalle, Stuttgart, Germany
• 1998-09-25 Hallenstadion, Zürich, Switzerland
• 1998-09-26 Palasport, Bologna, Italy
• 1998-09-27 Forum, Milan, Italy
• 1998-09-29 Wembley Arena, London, England, UK
• 1998-09-30 Wembley Arena, London, England, UK
• 1998-10-02 Nynex, Manchester, England, UK
• 1998-10-03 NEC, Birmingham, England, UK
• 1998-10-05 Cologne Arena, Cologne, Germany
• 1998-10-06 Cologne Arena, Cologne, Germany
• 1998-10-07 Bercy, Paris, France
• 1998-10-09 Messehalle, Hannover, Germany
• 1998-10-10 Messehalle, Leipzig, Germany
• 1998-10-11 Festhalle, Frankfurt, Germany
• 1998-10-13 Olympiahalle, Munich, Germany
• 1998-10-15 Sports Palace, Zaragoza, Spain
• 1998-10-16 Palau Saint Jordi, Barcelona, Spain
• 1998-10-17 Velodromo de Anoeta, San Sebastian, Spain
• 1998-10-27 Centrum, Worcester, MA, USA
• 1998-10-28 Madison Square Garden, New York City, NY, USA
• 1998-10-29 Madison Square Garden, New York City, NY, USA
• 1998-11-01 Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA, USA
• 1998-11-05 SkyDome, Toronto, ON, Canada
• 1998-11-06 Molson Centre, Montréal, QB, Canada
• 1998-11-08 Gund Arena, Cleveland, OH, USA
• 1998-11-09 The Palace, Detroit, MI, USA
• 1998-11-11 Patriot Center, Washington, DC, USA
• 1998-11-13 Miami Arena, Miami, FL, USA
• 1998-11-14 Orlando Arena, Orlando, FL, USA
• 1998-11-15 Ice Palace, Tampa, FL, USA
• 1998-11-18 Compaq Center, Houston, TX, USA
• 1998-11-19 Reunion Arena, Dallas, TX, USA
• 1998-11-20 Alamodome, San Antonio, TX, USA
• 1998-11-22 U.N.O. Lakefront Arena, University Of New Orleans, New Orleans, LA, USA
• 1998-11-24 Rosemont Arena, Chicago, IL, USA
• 1998-11-25 Rosemont Arena, Chicago, IL, USA
• 1998-11-29 McNichols Sports Arena, Denver, CO, USA
• 1998-12-01 Delta Center, Salt Lake City, UT, USA
• 1998-12-02 Idaho Center, Boise, ID, USA
• 1998-12-04 PNE Coliseum, Vancouver, BC, Canada
• 1998-12-06 Rose Garden, Portland, OR, USA
• 1998-12-07 Key Arena, Seattle, WA, USA
• 1998-12-09 Arco Arena, Sacramento, CA, USA
• 1998-12-11 Oakland Coliseum, Oakland, CA, USA
• 1998-12-14 America West Arena, Phoenix, AZ, USA
• 1998-12-15 Cox Arena, San Diego, CA, USA
• 1998-12-18 Forum, Inglewood, CA, USA
• 1998-12-19 Forum, Inglewood, CA, USA
• 1998-12-20 Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, CA, USA
• 1998-12-22 Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, CA, USA

2001 Exciter Tour

• Only When I Lose Myself was not played during this tour.

2003 Paper Monsters Tour (Dave Gahan solo)

• Only When I Lose Myself was not played during this tour.

2003 "A Night With Martin L. Gore" (Martin L. Gore solo)

Only When I Lose Myself was played 8 times during this tour.

• 2003-04-22 Nalen, Stockholm, Sweden
• 2003-04-24 E-Werk, Cologne, Germany
• 2003-04-26 Docks, Hamburg, Germany
• 2003-04-28 La Cigale, Paris, France
• 2003-04-30 Alcatraz, Milan, Italy
• 2003-05-02 Astoria Theatre, London, England, UK
• 2003-05-06 Mayan Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA
• 2003-05-07 Mayan Theatre, Los Angeles, CA, USA

2005-2006 Touring The Angel

• Only When I Lose Myself was not played during this tour.

2009-2010 Tour Of The Universe

• Only When I Lose Myself was not played during this tour.

2013-2014 Delta Machine Tour

Only When I Lose Myself was played 8 times during this tour.

• 2013-03-15 SXSW, Brazos Hall, Austin, TX, USA
• 2013-03-24 MuseumsQuartier, Vienna, Austria
• 2013-05-07 HaYarkon Park, Tel Aviv, Israel
• 2013-05-19 Usce Park, Belgrade, Serbia
• 2013-05-29 O2 Arena, London, England, UK
• 2013-06-11 Red Bull Arena, Leipzig, Germany
• 2013-07-05 Esprit Arena, Dusseldorf, Germany
• 2013 Delta Machine Live (compilation)

2017-2018 Global Spirit Tour

• Only When I Lose Myself was not played during this tour.

Depeche Mode songs released as singles 1981-1985: Dreaming Of Me • New Life • Just Can't Get Enough • See You • The Meaning Of Love • Leave In Silence • Get The Balance Right • Everything Counts • Love In Itself • People Are People • Master And Servant • Blasphemous Rumours / Somebody • Shake The Disease • It's Called A Heart 1986-1989: Stripped • But Not Tonight • A Question Of Lust • A Question Of Time • Strangelove • Never Let Me Down Again • Behind The Wheel • Little 15 • Personal Jesus 1990-1998: Enjoy The Silence • Policy Of Truth • World In My Eyes • I Feel You • Walking In My Shoes • Condemnation • In Your Room • Barrel Of A Gun • It's No Good • Home • Useless • Only When I Lose Myself 2001-2009: Dream On • I Feel Loved • Freelove • Goodnight Lovers • Precious • A Pain That I'm Used To • Suffer Well • John The Revelator / Lilian • Martyr • Wrong • Peace • Fragile Tension / Hole To Feed 2013-2017: Heaven • Soothe My Soul • Should Be Higher • Where's The Revolution • Going Backwards • Cover Me 2023: Ghosts Again Recoil songs released as singles 1992-1998: Faith Healer • Drifting • Stalker / Missing Piece 2000-2008: Strange Hours • Jezebel • Prey • Allelujah Dave Gahan songs released as singles 2003-2008: Dirty Sticky Floors • I Need You • Bottle Living / Hold On • A Little Piece • Kingdom • Saw Something / Deeper And Deeper 2012-2015: Longest Day • Take Me Back Home • All Of This And Nothing • Shine Martin Gore solo songs released as singles 1989-2003: Compulsion • Stardust • Loverman 2012-2015: Spock • Single Blip • Aftermaths • Europa Hymn • "Pinking" (Christoffer Berg Remix) Official releases Studio albums • Live albums • Compilation albums • Video albums • Singles